If Jon Snow was a tooth, which one would he be? Let’s compare teeth to the characters of HBO’s most popular series, “Game of Thrones,” and maybe learn something along the way. But first, let’s start this post off right…
Now on to giving our teeth the names of characters from the fictional continents of Essos and Westeros! Let’s do this.
Did you happen to notice that the editor’s anem in the clip above was “Oral?” Haha, dental jokes never get old. Amiright?
***A spoiler from the first episode of Season 6 is below.***
First, let’s talk teeth. Teeth are all shaped individually and have different jobs depending on the type. Types of teeth include Incisors (the 8 front teeth), Canines (the sharp ones that help bite and tear your food), Premolars, Molars, and Third Molars (all used for chewing). I got to thinking recently, and came to the conclusion that my teeth reminded me of the characters of Game of Thrones (I mean, who hasn’t thought this…?) because you never know when one will be “crowned” or “extracted.” [cough, cough] I might even dare say that the feeling you get when losing an adult tooth is just as sad and jarring as the way they kill people off on the show.
The Cast of Characters/Teeth
Central Incisors. Big teeth. Showy teeth. These are the teeth located front and center. They wield great power and are noticeable. In season 1, Ned Stark was definitely a central incisor. Everyone loved him, and when we lost him it was a major bummer (as would losing an actual central incisor). I’d also put Cersei Lannister in this category because of her noticeable beauty and her inner strength (which we all know she tends to wield no matter the consequences). Daenerys Targaryen is also another obvious choice for central incisor because she has the qualities noted above, plus her hair is as white as we all wish our teeth were. #Goals
Game of Thrones
Lateral Incisors. Also a front tooth, but lateral incisors are on each side of the central incisors. They are not quite as upfront and in your face (although actual lateral incisors are IN your face). They are still very important but just don’t seem to have the same innate need for power as a central incisor. Although Jaime Lannister & Stannis Baratheon are powerful, they don’t seem to put in the work that a molar would, yet do still have some influence. I’d also say Sansa Stark and Margaery Tyrell would make good lateral incisors.
Canines. Cutting. Strong. Don’t MESS with me. We definitely do not have a shortage of these type of characters on the show. I did consider putting Daenerys in this category because she has as many different names as the canine tooth (like… cuspids, dog teeth, fangs, eye teeth, etc.) but I think her spot above is most fitting. Other characters I wouldn’t mess with would be Ygritte, The Hound (bonus points for actually being named for a canine with 4 legs), Brienne of Tarth, Khal Drogo (actually ALL Dothraki), Grey Worm, and Aria Stark. And my personal favorite canine tooth, Jon Snow. Thank goodness he’s back, what would we do without him?
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Premolars. Premolars are smaller but still get the job done. They tend to be a bit underrated but might just be my favorite type of character. Tyrion Lannister is a premolar because he of a small stature and although he was completely underestimated season after season, he proves himself and keeps on “grindin’.” Gilly, I’d say, is another premolar. She is also underestimated but her spirit and her strength are mighty. And don’t forget about Tommen. I’m preemptively putting him in this category because although up until now he has proven to be incredibly inadequate, he’s really beginning to exercise his power and I expect big things from this King (good things, bad things, we shall see).
Molars. Big and Tough. As far as big goes, Robert Baratheon, Hodor, The Mountain, and That-Big-Guy-Who-Protects-Cercei-Now-With-A-Purple-Face-And-Scary-Eyes would make great molars simply because they could crush you up and spit you out. For tough, I’d choose Ser Davos Seaworth and Ser Jorah Mormont. They just keep working their tails off no matter the circumstances.
Wisdom Teeth (or, Third Molar). The brains of the bunch. These are the characters that seem to have the most going on upstairs. Samwell Tarly, Lord Varys, and Bran (and why not throw in the Three Eyed Raven). And although he uses his smarts for no good, Petyr “Littlefinger” Baelish would also be a wisdom tooth.
Supernumerary Teeth. Fun fact, many people grow extra teeth in their mouths that are usually extracted and dentists call them supernumerary teeth. They’re not wanted and need to be cut from the script immediately. Because we don’t like them. Not one bit. Some stick around long enough to drive one crazy: Joffrey Baratheon (my favorite episode may have been the one he was poisoned in), Viserys Targaryen (that smelted head trick, yeah, he had that coming), Robin Arryn (let’s make HIM fly), and last but certainly not least Ramsay Snow (um, duh).
There’s only about million, no, wait, billion characters I left out so I’m interested to know where you think they’d fit. Robb Stark? Podrick? Theon? Shae? Put them down in the comments below, I’d love to hear what you have to say.
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